Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Chuck Norris Lucu-lucu

Mau tahu seberapa "jagoan", "berbahaya", dan ”mematikannya” Chuck Norris?
Inilah dia, "Chuck Norris Facts"..

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman, wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
The original draft of “The Lord of the Rings” featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck "roundhouse-kicked" Sauron’s ass halfway through the first chapter.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. PERIOD.
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer.

Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become Death, the Destroyer Of Worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick his head through a wall and take it.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because Google knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane, and punched the ground.
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants!
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
The original title for “Alien vs. Predator” was “Alien and Predator, vs Chuck Norris”. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself, out of fear.
Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream, by a roundhouse kick to the face.

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch "60 Minutes".

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?", he roundhouse-kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a Dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it, and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
Most people know that Descartes said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Chuck Norris."
There are now five cup sizes at Starbucks: Short, Tall, Grande, Venti, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris adalah bintang film laga tahun 80-an. Dia biasanya bermain sebagai tentara jagoan (Missing in Action), atau sebagai jago karate. Dia jadi terkenal karena pernah berlatih bersama Bruce Lee. Style-nya yang paling terkenal adalah tendangan khasnya, tendangan memutar, roundhouse kicks.

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